Wednesday, 15 September 2010

on feeling out of time

I have always been old-fashioned. Always admired chivalry; domesticated women and artistic, humble pursuits. Lately I have felt this force of admiration much more strongly than before. I have looked at my modern surroundings and longed to be in a time where my old-age pursuits were the norm. I like to bake, I like to read, I like to sew (although my talents in these, especially the latter, are very, very modest). The types of peer-pressure I have felt in my life is not to dothings - not to rebel, or shock or frighten - but rather to stop doing things - to stop having polite morals, stop being so reserved and refined, stop going out of my way to create things, from scratch, that can otherwise be bought in convenience. What someone is making me see today is that it is not the pursuits I long for; it is simply a different channel of behaviour. That is something I will never be able to re-create; I will never be able to swim back into Victorian times or float back down to the '50s, but what I can do is continue the hobbies that most excite me. Whilst they might not always fit into this world, a world dominated by technology, convenience and frequent promiscuity, it does not mean that I cannot channel the facilities of that very world to help.

So I will read, write, photograph, draw, bake, sew, walk and adventure using the freedom and amenities I have in 2010 and eventually I will find people who feel exactly the same. I've already seen that they are out there.

(Homemade, vanilla sponge with vanilla icing)

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