I do not know how to elasticate my words. I do not know how to thicken them.
Nor do I know how to give space when comfort is needed; hold at arms length when cold.
And I cannot stop telling people to see the light at the end of this dark, crowded tunnel when I do not see it myself.
There is cheer, here. I can feel it. I just need to get to it. I just need to do the above things - elasticate, thicken, spread myself thinly - and then relax.
Because next year will hold many more contradictions; little blocks that will be fallen over. And I might stumble into it - just as naive - or I might learn from the mistakes I have laid.
But there will be a smile. A smile at a job tried hard.