I can't quite put my finger on it; can't quite find it's placing, but something about today was bittersweet.
Was it--is it?--because I see the end so clearly, now? Less than six months and this little run of academia will be over. It will be turned on its head; stored away; preserved in the pocket of my early, early twenties. And I still haven't ascertained how I feel about that. About whether or not I'll continue or whether this time will--first--freeze, then melt into the remaining phases of my life. But it's there. This want to catch every comfortable moment I can. This want to store and treasure and preserve those snatched conversations in seminar rooms and a (mostly) shared, and gripping, passion for a subject.
Just a thought.
Totally understand you ! Everything involving decisions is hard haha
ReplyDeleteWow. You just summed up exactly how I felt in that last year of uni. And even though I went back, it was never quite the same.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, change can be absolutely wonderful! As cliché as it sounds just go with your heart, only you know what is best for you :)
(Oh and the fact that you said 'when' shows me just how much amazing progress you have made. You are so brave, you inspire me so much!)