a spiralling sort of day

Today started off--and ended--badly.

(It started with a job interview. A job interview which involved me tripping--and falling--ungracefully on the stairs. Did I mention that it was in front of--and between--the other candidates and boss? It was not my finest moment).

But the thing is, today became less and less about those moments and more, much more, about historical lanes, pots of tea and a very, very beautiful friend. (Her name is Holly. And she is the complete package when it comes to beauty--in my eyes, at least).

We study in the same city, Holly and I. And yet we hardly ever see eachother (and no, I'm not quite sure why). So today we had a long catch-up--and we drank all kinds of different tea. (Black Vanilla tastes a lot like cupcakes--a little too much like cupcakes. And that is something I never thought my sweet-tooth would say). We walked along the river, we reminisced about our respective Parisian getaways, and got stuck, right in the eye of a storm.

But most of all? We laughed.

And because of that, I want more days like it--days that can be turned around by so very simple things. (Not so much the embarrassment, though. That can go).

that canadian kiss

Somehow, the riots in Canada last week slipped under my radar--I emphasise "somehow" because I pretty much read the news every day (and it's both a good and bad thing, that).

But as I found out about them properly today, I, too, found out about that kiss.

And as I found out about that kiss, I, too, found out about this pseudo book cover.

The truth is, I think I like it more than I like any of the originals!

And whatever the circumstances are surrounding that kiss (and I hope, just hope, it was nothing more than romance), it just might become as famous as this one.

a self-portrait, of sorts

So yesterday, I bought a new (impulsively, lusted-after) hat.

Please excuse my vanity. I just wanted to show it off a little. (That's okay, right?)

I hope you are having a lovely Tuesday! It's getting a little stormy, here.

the weekend

I like taking evening walks with Arnold.

I like it when the breeze hits just so and our footsteps become more silly movement than actual walking. (You know, like fighting tickles and running from dinosaurs).

He's fun to be around, that one.

And so is the sun. (But my, is this English weather hot right now--hotter, apparently, than in The Bahamas!)

The weekend was full of it. That, and parties with friends--and watching this again--and me being a little bit grumpy. (The people around me are getting used to that--but I am, I am trying).

What did you do this weekend?

*That photo is taken with Instagram--a sure sure sign that I got an iPhone.

i'd like to, please

Hope #20.

Become a mother.

Certain people are meant to become certain things--writers, politicians, doctors. I know that there are many, many things I want to do in life, but the one thing, the thing that tops them all, is to become a mother. I know I will be good at it (and trust me, I don't get that feeling too often) and I know that its success will not be instant--or easy--but it will be the most rewarding, the most fulfilling, and the most loving thing I will ever, ever do.

One day--but oh! it is a very long way off.

(My I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by this blog, Someday Hopes, and the picture is courtesy of Instagram).

weekend

At the weekend, Arnold and I watched this film--Before Sunrise.

And what I found in it was absolute beauty. (And a new favourite film).

We spent the rest of the weekend book-shopping, reading in bed together and taking naps. (I took the most). It was simple but oh, it was fun!

What did you do this weekend?

(Photo credit--from one of my favourite scenes).

i'd like to, please

Hope #19.

Write a book...

...and get it published.

This hope is quite a big deal to me. It is something I have wanted to do since I was very, very small. It's something that, everyday, I wake up dreaming of. And there are days when I think I won't make it---there are days when I think I simply cannot do it. But in all those moments, there is the dreaming of it, and then, then there are the little steps made in order to make it happen.

Writing has become---and always will be---a huge part of my life. Whether it is in the multiple books I am reading and evaluating at any given time or in the sense of satisfaction I get when I finish a page, I am simply not sure. But I surround myself with so many brilliant examples of how beautiful and how powerful writing is and can be, that I simply hope I will one day make productive proof of it.

I simply hope I will one day see my writing on someone else's shelf.

(I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by Someday Hopes. The photo credit for that oh-so-very enviable writing nook can be found here).

who are you?

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive-- the risk to be alive and express what we really are." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

I think it's true. And I think it's a theme I am seeing a lot of, lately.

What, really, are you?

Perhaps a better question is who?

And perhaps an even better question is of right now?*

*I don't think we are stagnant--we are something different at all times of the day and in every situation. And that, I suppose, is part of our charm.

moon/cake

It turns out that recreating one of Arnold's favourite cakes--sticky Jamaica Ginger Cake--is a little harder than I thought.

Or it could simply be that I didn't have the right ingredients. (Like golden syrup. I'm not yet convinced maple syrup works as the greatest substitute--although on its own, it tastes so much better).

But at least I tried. And that's all that counts, right?

Homemade ginger cake.

...

How are you today?

I keep nipping outside in the hope I might, just might, spot the eclipse.

little boxes

I sometimes think I have a problem holding onto things. Lately I am battered by memories of things I just wish I had appreciated at the time. The typewriter my Dad gave me (which I traded in for a Word Processor--I wish I was kidding). The bicycle I never quite rode. The phone I have had for a few years and am now, so desperate, to trade up. I know my memories do not exist in these things. They do not exist in the plastic exteriors or in the little, tiny machines that turn them so seamlessly. Rather, these memories exist in my heart--a heart I will (hopefully) never (need to) trade in. But losing these things--well, it worries me. They act as staples to moments I will never get back.

And that, right there, is a pausing thought.

this is thanks

D'you know what I love?

Days with Dad.

We spent the morning researching his family tree--tracing lines and lines of lineage and matching dates to repetitive names. And in the afternoon--in the warm, warm sun and teasing breeze--we took a walk. It was nice to see him look at our street with a renewed interest and respect, where the still quiet fuelled our content.

He is such a brilliant, brilliant man. I could not be luckier--or, for that matter, more grateful for days like today.

a two-week recap

My Monday morning meetings--you know, where I talk and talk and talk about these sorts of things--often feel a lot like this.

And as comforting and empathic and understanding as those rocks may be--they offer a lot of height to climb (and to fall from).

This week, though, felt better than the last. There were a few more realisations--and with them, a little progression. I am understanding, more and more, the cycle of my thoughts: the emotions I pin to words and the words I (often incorrectly) couple. It's a slow process but it is a process. It is not the stagnation I was once feeling. And that, right now, is enough for me.

(The image is a print found in this Etsy shop. I am increasingly fond of watercolours).

*The blog is looking a little altered today--and I do not think for the better. That love of mine is working on a new layout for me. It'll be here soon!

i'd like to, please

Hope #18.

Ride a carousel.

I haven't in such a long time. So I'd like to take my love to one and, clad in woollen coats and mittens, spin and sway and turn in the winter haze.

It'd make me feel a little girl again---well, moreso.

(My I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by this hopeful, hopeful blog. And the picture---which features the carousel in Montmartre---is from We Heart It).

my new addition

Oh, how I cannot wait to host a tea-party with this.

She is--I hope--the first of many.

I'm going to be an old lady with far, far too many teapots. I can feel it already.

book club

In a couple of weeks time, Kaylia and I will be having a cup of tea and discussing this book. (Go see Kaylia's blog, by the way. She is so very, very lovely).

The only problem is that we live in two, separate continents. (Quite a large problem, really).

So we decided we would set up a little online space--a book club where we could meet and discuss those very same ideas without being in the same room.

The space at the moment is a little haphazard--a lot of design needs so desperately to be teased out. But we will get there--then we will sit back and talk. It would be so very, very lovely to see you there.

just a thought...

or rather: a few beautiful words.

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations." ~ Anais Nin.

I don't think deciphering those constellations will ever be a task complete but oh, I am trying.

What an image.

by the (tackiest) sea

Whilst I will never profess myself to be a good photographer, I am feeling more and more comfortable behind a lens lately (you just might have guessed already).

So I spent a lot of today, a day out with friends, photographing the little things that make seaside towns tick--the sea, the sand, the (clouded over) sun. The smaller details, I suppose, are where I find my interest--a sentiment that is true in front of any lens of life. I like individual words and subtle movements and isolated memories and strands--mere strands--of inspiration. I look at things less in the sum of their parts and more, so much more, at those very (individual) parts. Because in them I find detail and beauty and care--I find the intricacy of lives so often overlooked.

Today, these snapshots were a lot less profound. They were just parts of a day spent in the tackiest English town I ever did know.

But beneath the creases of that dress and the single grains of sand are the signs of a day spent relaxing. And it was rare--rare in so very many ways.

diana double

I thought I'd share a few Diana half-frames from around this time last year.

That little plastic lens of hers sure does make me appreciate the things I see--the things I envelop myself in on breezy, summer days.

Out of interest, what are you doing today?

I am about to go out bowling with friends. I love bowling--or rather, I love bowling badly!

Have a lovely day.

i'd like to, please

Hope #17.

Work as a librarian.

Partly because I think I'd fit right in. But mostly because, well, because I think it is one of the greatest institutions we could possibly hope to have.

And maybe the idea of working there, in Trinity College's (Dublin) long room, stretches the dreaming a little bit too far? Never. Absolutely never. Because these dreams don't have to happen---but they are proof, absolute proof, that I will never stop hoping.

(My I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by Someday Hopes. The picture credit goes to here).

when you live...

...relatively close to an English coastal town, you kind of get used to this.

A nautical graveyard, of sorts--of abandoned boats and haunting stories.

Oh, and that beautiful, beautiful sky.

sew so

I am so very in love with this dress pattern.

And, of course, its vintage-inspired styling.

I am learning to sew, you see--learning to distract myself and focus on something apart from words (because words have become both a solace and a tool of this worrying thing--a form of escape as easily as a form of restriction). I haven't--yet--perfected stitching, or cutting, or pinning--but I will get there. Because where I lack skill and talent and instinct, I most certainly do cherish my optimism--however much it sometimes wavers.

(The dress is made using this Colette pattern--and maybe, just maybe, I'll one day make it).

june bakes

This afternoon I had a little gathering with friends--and such a gathering pretty much demands a few baked goods, right?

Raspberry Cupcakes w/ a White Chocolate Centre and Raspberry Buttercream Frosting.

And tomorrow I start on a healthy body. No, really. I do.