i'd like to, please

Hope #19.

Write a book...

...and get it published.

This hope is quite a big deal to me. It is something I have wanted to do since I was very, very small. It's something that, everyday, I wake up dreaming of. And there are days when I think I won't make it---there are days when I think I simply cannot do it. But in all those moments, there is the dreaming of it, and then, then there are the little steps made in order to make it happen.

Writing has become---and always will be---a huge part of my life. Whether it is in the multiple books I am reading and evaluating at any given time or in the sense of satisfaction I get when I finish a page, I am simply not sure. But I surround myself with so many brilliant examples of how beautiful and how powerful writing is and can be, that I simply hope I will one day make productive proof of it.

I simply hope I will one day see my writing on someone else's shelf.

(I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by Someday Hopes. The photo credit for that oh-so-very enviable writing nook can be found here).

i'd like to, please

Hope #17.

Work as a librarian.

Partly because I think I'd fit right in. But mostly because, well, because I think it is one of the greatest institutions we could possibly hope to have.

And maybe the idea of working there, in Trinity College's (Dublin) long room, stretches the dreaming a little bit too far? Never. Absolutely never. Because these dreams don't have to happen---but they are proof, absolute proof, that I will never stop hoping.

(My I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by Someday Hopes. The picture credit goes to here).

i'd like to, please

Hope #14.

Make my children their own stuffed animals.

Because these things simply couldn't be any cuter. And neither could an animal---or a doll---sewn by my own hands---missed stitches and all. They'd each have a name and a set of clothes and a personality. And they would be treasured and squeezed and a huge part of bed-time stories---you know, those impromptu ones: the ones not from a book?

They would also be cordially invited to every single tea-party.

(I'd Like To, Please posts are inspired by this beautiful blog---Someday Hopes---and the above image of Fox Jr (who really, really is very beautiful) is from here).

still dreaming...

...of that home I will one day have.

And the truth is---well, I will probably never be brave enough or have space enough or a boat big enough to do this, but...

Isn't it such a wonderful idea?

(Courtesy of this blog, Bettyjoy---via Pinterest).

dreaming to distraction

Today I am trying hard to let go of my fears---and it is funny that, isn't it? that following the day hailed to make us safer I am feeling just as unsettled and unnerved by the world around us. So attention has turned to the future---to the dreams I keep stacked up in my head and in my heart---to the visions of growth, prosperity and contentment. Yet I find in these things fears themselves: they are reminders of all that there is to be lost---reminders of lost loves and scattered dreams. I don't want to put too much faith in these things---too much love---(for fear and fear itself) but I don't want to stop feeling or living or being. That, I know, would be the greater destructor.

To dream, I think, might be the only answer.

(Picture source).

been there, seen that

I've been here---I've glimpsed this (and I say glimpsed because whilst I did step inside, I was a little too nervous, too overwhelmed, too out of place to really look).

It's Le Bibliotheque Nationale on Le Rue De Richelieu, Paris.

And today I am longing to return---to catch a glimpse of the leathered spines and rich, mahogany reading desks. To eat croissants in the park and hang out, basking in the sun near Le Louvre. To walk, aimlessly, but to find beauty everywhere.

And I might, just might, be looking at hotels---you know, just in case.

And I might, just might, start revising French---you know, just in case.

i'd like to, please

Hope. #6.

To own a Kitchen Aid mixer.

I hope one day to own my own Kitchen Aid. At the moment, my mum is kind enough to lend me hers for my baking days---but I do look forward to the day that I have my own. It will sit, so proudly, in my kitchen. And it will be used for baking more than twice a week (this, hopefully, is a proposed understatement).

A girl can dream, can't she?

I'd probably be as excited as Elsie was---seriously, very jealous.

The one above---my favourite---is in Candy Apple Red. But I'd happily take Yellow Pepper and Blue Storm, too. Or any. So many choices.

(This post was inspired by Someday Hopes and the picture is courtesy of Kitchen Aid).

i'd like to, please

Hope #5.

Ride a bike.

You know, I haven't ridden a bike in a very long time. Over ten years, in fact. Probably a little more than that. And the thing is, well, I'm a little worried I've forgotten how. (It was a change in bike that did it---stopped me riding, I mean. I was a little too small for the very big bike my parents bought me, new, from the shop in the village---and to this day I feel bad about it).

This year I want to do it again---I want to make sure I can do it, still. And if I can't? Well, I want to learn.

(Post inspired by this blog and the picture---the very beautiful picture---is from here).

mantra

I am trying hard to make this my new mantra.

(You can find the print here).

And in related news (in the sense that I wish I'd realised the above, sooner)---tomorrow is my last seminar of the year!

i'd like to, please

Hope. #4.

I'd like to fill a journal---actually, I'd like to fill many, collecting up my life and straying it across its paper leaves. I'd stick things in and annotate and document---I'd photograph and doodle and adorn.

(Posts are inspired by this wonderful blog. And the picture comes from this equally wonderful blog: Her Library Adventures is by a woman after my own heart).

i'd like to, please

I guess you could say I am hoping for a lot, lately. (But don't get me wrong: this doesn't mean that I am not happy where I am right now. It doesn't mean that I don't appreciate my luck and health and contentment---because I do. Especially tonight---tonight of all nights).

Hope #3.

To go on a road-trip---a long one. But because I cannot decide which I would like better---American, or European?---I would like to take both. I would like the freedom but the security---the security to know that if I needed it, I could have my own metal shell of a home right there and then. I'd like to listen to music the whole way and talk to my love about life. I like road-trips---I always have.*

*I realise I need to learn to drive first. I am quite, quite, quite aware of that.

(The post itself is inspired by this blog and the photo---isn't it absolutely wonderful?---is from here).

i'd like to, please

Hopes. #2

To return to Paris. To walk the streets at night in the heat and in the beauty of the summer. To visit museums and bookshops and galleries. To have that holiday from two summers ago---but better, and improved upon---discovering all the things we didn't quite get to see.

Soon, please. I'd like that.

(Inspired by Someday Hopes---but the photo is from here).

i'd like to, please

I believe a lot in hopes, dreams and spending every day in striving for them. They don't have to be big---they simply have to make you happy.

I am always inspired by this wonderful blog, and (with a conscious effort not to plagiarise) I thought it might be fun to periodically share a few of my hopes---because I clearly don't do that enough.

So. Hope #1.*

I hope one day to have a dine-in-library. A big, oak eating table surrounded by a dark brood of shelves. And I want them to be full of the books that have stolen my heart---those books that truly mean something and the books that have taught me the most about life. I want to host dinner parties in their company---the perfect talking point for no-doubt like-minded friends.

But most of all, I want mine to rest beside his.

(Image courtesy of Habitually Chic).

*In no particular order. Just hopes for when the mood strikes.

realise vs. actualise

Today I realised that a little self-belief can go a long way towards making a day feel better---and maybe a week, then maybe a month, then maybe a life-time (even if I cannot, and do not, profess to be very good at maintaining it).

I also realised that I really, really would rather like to return to here.

(Paris, from the steps of La Basilique du Sacré-Coeur. Taken a little more than two years ago).

In fact, it doesn't even have to be Paris---just somewhere French.

Oh, and that manners - real manners, chivalry and all - should never, ever die out. Please.

on a bad day

Today I was over-sensitive, under-prepared, naive.

I hadn't yet experienced writing criticism quite so threateningly; I hadn't heard my sentences aloud, in someone else's voice; I hadn't seen the impression that my words gave, the one of cliché and prediction and of not quite making it. And for the few minutes that followed the wrath of critical words and disappointed expression, I didn't know how to react - I didn't know what I was expected to say (do you defend or agree, contest or concede?) or where I was supposed to look.

There was a falter and a deliberation.

Because it wasn't about conceit or arrogance or even pretension. It wasn't about being awarded a higher grade or a worthier compliment, it was simply a case of understanding. Without it, no artist, no academic, no real worker can ever improve.*

So maybe in reading out my sentences, the ones which did not quite flow in a tone of voice which was not quite real, a lesson was forced. Because as much as it stung, scratching at the surface of a pedestalled dream, it showed me just how high and how sought after that very pedestal is.

*Not that I profess to be either one of these.