repetition---and so it goes

I've said it before (and I say it a little too often)---but this over-spill from uni is really getting to me. Countless hours a day are spent not doing what I should be---instead dreaming about all the things I will do---all the things I will make and create and write about, all the places I will go and the things I will, hopefully, see. But dreaming about them means dreaming about the exams and the coursework and the preparation left to do. And then dreaming about that means dreaming about the former---a distraction of whimsy and of inspiration and of love. So it's a cycle, a cycle I am stuck in in the endless, summery days. A cycle that broke, last week, when I finally cleaned. (And wow, I spent hours re-living my childhood---pooling over the so-many trinkets I had stuffed away in drawers). But it's back again, drawing me in---worsened by a few nights' nightmares (and I mean of the running kind, you know, the ones when you try, so desperately, to make it away but find yourself stuck time and time again?) and a kind of ache.

But right now---right now as I apply for jobs and then look for more---I am going to try and get back into the mindset. The mindset that got me here, this far.