on little victories (or big ones)

So I have a few things coming up---and some of them I am excited about and some of them I am nervous about and some of them I am simply, simply scared about (in equal measure). And I suppose I am being really rather cryptic about them---keeping them close to my chest to guard: the insecurities, the hopes (and I am sorry for that. It seems a little silly, doesn't it? To give a shadow of a life and to only allude to its detail?) But the thing is---and this is probably quite a big thing, something worth mentioning---most of the things, exciting or nerve-racking, aren't even terribly big. They are just things. Things needed or wanted or things that just happen in due-course. But that doesn't take away their impact, really. That is something I hate about the world, about the way experiences are so often compared so insensitively. Because what is important to one, what requires bravery and determination and grit, may be a little yawn or a stretch or a step to another. What is important is that that person, in turn, finds something that challenges them---something that is persevered with, over time, or executed in one go, in one courageous jump. The same goes for the effects of other people's tasks---the choices and the routes other people make in life, the things that we are included in (or not included in) that mould and shape our life experiences---the things we endure and smile through not out of choice but out of love, where the simplest of things can be the tiniest of events or the scariest and the darkest of ordeals. That, right there, is humanity---the curve of difference in us all.

So these things, these things that I envision on my horizons, are requiring bravery---my bravery. And they will, one day soon, be victories---my victories. And if they're not? Well, they will be my failures, too---something to learn from and to clean up, soon to be tested as victories all over again.