The people around me are planning; they are signing up to courses or filling in forms or getting work experience. They are going further, carving the foundations of a life they want to lead.
And me? Well, today I have an urge to write---I have an urge to choreograph moments in the only dance I really know: words. But tomorrow? Well, I may not. I guess you could say I am not quite there, yet---to knowing what I want to do*. But I know that I love writing---and that at some point, I want to teach. I know that I want to travel---and that at some point, I want a family. I know that as much as I worry and fret and deliberate over the future---over the things that probably won't happen and the things I really, really fear---that the little steps are just as important. And maybe this not-knowing, this uncertainty will make the knowing, the certainty all that more richer.
So I'll keep making the plans for the future---the baby-steps, the short-term dates--- and like yesterday, I'll keep collecting victories. They just might help.
*So I may not know what I want to do---but I know who I want to do it with. It is with him, every single time. (And I am almost sorry for that saccharine truth?)
**And, as an aside, Happy International Women's Day!