Tuesday, 8 March 2011

on stepping (cautiously)

The people around me are planning; they are signing up to courses or filling in forms or getting work experience. They are going further, carving the foundations of a life they want to lead.

And me? Well, today I have an urge to write---I have an urge to choreograph moments in the only dance I really know: words. But tomorrow? Well, I may not. I guess you could say I am not quite there, yet---to knowing what I want to do*. But I know that I love writing---and that at some point, I want to teach. I know that I want to travel---and that at some point, I want a family. I know that as much as I worry and fret and deliberate over the future---over the things that probably won't happen and the things I really, really fear---that the little steps are just as important. And maybe this not-knowing, this uncertainty will make the knowing, the certainty all that more richer.

So I'll keep making the plans for the future---the baby-steps, the short-term dates--- and like yesterday, I'll keep collecting victories. They just might help.

*So I may not know what I want to do---but I know who I want to do it with. It is with him, every single time. (And I am almost sorry for that saccharine truth?)

**And, as an aside, Happy International Women's Day!

1 comment:

  1. I think that your goals are just as meaningful and important. More so if fact. Mapping out your whole life when you're young just doesn't work, things change and you change. I had it all figured out when I started uni, right up until I turned 21..when I realised I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life. Honestly? I still don't.
    But that's my favourite thing about life, the uncertainty, how everything is always changing, and how we can do anything we want once we put our minds to it :) Not knowing what that is yet is all part of the fun!